Gone with the wind.

In memoriam

My dearest Naani.

Is no more.

She was..

Girl uninterrupted from Banaras. Wife of a firebrand architect. Mother of five hellraising kids. A great mother-in-law for their spouses. A patient granny to their kids. Occasional hardware store(failure) owner, chicken farmer(failure with a terrible stink as well). Never-give-upper, kind to a fault, never cribber if there are such words..

The one from whom I draw all my principles, ability to face difficulties head on, Follow the harder right, and a conscience which predominantly says: be kind.

She fought death for three years, braved pain, needles, hospitals, dialyses surgeries.

Fiercely independent till her last, stubbornly refusing help, she endured an agony that would’ve brought able men on their knees.

Pursuing my selfish lifestyle, someone for whom I couldn’t do much. Which I regret and always will. Though I try and live by what she expected of me.

I pay homage to this deserving warrior. To an uncompromising conscience, an undomitable spirit, and most importantly, a kind heart.

And hope that someday, I’ll make her proud.

I loved you Naani. And I always will.

proposing paradropping..

A friend of mine just finished a course in para jumping. having now done four successful jumps from a height of 1250 feet above ground level by day and one by night, he is now one of the priveleged few who wear the coveted paratroopers' wings.
I happened to have been with him in those moments before his first jump. I learnt in those few minutes before a human being takes the first leap of faith outside a fully functional aircraft, that his psyche can universally be described as the inside of a food processor at work. Although emotionally overwhelmed, not one single feeling takes charge... The mood swings wildly between a feeling of outright stupidity (why on earth did i do this to myself..) to apprehension (what if..), to indifference ( happens everyday!!) to fear ( will i.. wont i..), the list goes on, and on.. God forbid if the jump gets postponed (or not?) for any reason, a mixture of relief, coupled with an apprehension that the same terrors will have to be faced all over again tomorrow takes over.. Appetites become abysmal and sleep absconds.. The world over.. Regardless of caste, creed ,colour, sex or mental make up, paratroopers around the world have faced the same devils before their first jump, ever since people realised it would be useful to fly ..
The big day arrives , and pale faced rookies line up inside the aircraft, some mumbling prayers, others quenching their fears by outwardly displaying grit teeth, their eyes however, spilling all.. "GREEN ON!!"( horn, light, push) "ONE TWO THREE.. NINE TEN TROOPERS OUT!!! as the instructor bellows over the clamour of great aeroengines and blast of slipstream, the moment of truth arrives, and the small step unto nothing is taken.. hesitatingly by some, confidently by others, and time freezes.
In the next four seconds which feel like eternity, the entrails leap into the first timer's chest, threatening to spill out of the mouth..eyes are clenched shut, mouth set in stone, more from raw terror than as protection against wind blast...A vague realisation dawns in him (something to do with correct body position..) but the limbs, though free of gravity in a free fall, refuse to cooperate , and feel as if immersed in molasses.. And not to forget of course the prayer (dear GAWD! let it WORK just this ONCE!) and the flashback of life, strike ones mind like a sledgehammer.. A heartstopping jerk that lasts forever later, infinity can't possibly describe the courage required to look up and confirm satisfactory parachute opening. Then.. Silence. vast, complete, enveloping, encapsulating silence. After the cacophony of the aeroplane and the windblast during jump, it is almost hurtful..
Like a bolt from the blue, a thought just dawned on me... For those of you who have taken the other leap of hope, and proposed to someone in their life.. Someone who was filling their entire being..Like the smell of water on parched earth fills the senses..Someone for whom you'd wait for hours just for a glimpse.. Someone who'd cause you to smile in the middle of nowhere with imagined conversations..Someone who was in your thoughts every moment of the day.. Someone for facing whom you'd plan for hours what to say, and be left stumped stupid in presence of.. Someone with whom you could have conquered the world and all that lies beyond..
Maybe a parallel can be drawn? The same mustering of guts, same introspective debates between common sense and bravado looped infinitely..Procrastination, and the hope that there'll always be a better time to do it.. The moment of truth..The same heart in mouth feeling, the infinite courage required to look into the other person's eyes, with a hope that could move mountains if it was solid.. And finally the relief that the target was achieved.. Of proposing that is.. Whether the chute opened or not, whether the answer was yes or no, of course, will always remain another story..
What say?

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:.

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Kipling wrote this.

If you are down sometime, it just might prove to be chicken soup for the soul.Don't hesitate trying it.

Prologue

• Hi.
• This blog is inspired by flight , the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes" and last but not the least, to quote Kipling, "The will which says to them, "Go on!" ".
• The intention is to portray human values and emotions, strengths and weknesses, humour and tears and adventure and boredom as I see it.
• Its a new blog ,so E&OE.
• FOOD. How could I forget food??